li_amaranth | Genessia IC Inbox

Hey, I have another drawing for you. Also, are you free to talk?

[That definitely got her attention. Li was growing fond of his drawings.]

Yeah, I'm.. not doing much right now.

[She might have just finished up eating and heading back to her cave so, excuse the slight blood splatter against her cheek.]

[He smiles, and doesn't seem to be holding the blood against her.]

Just tell me where to meet you.

[She frowns slightly and looks around her.]

Forest of Fayren. There's a stream by my cave.

I'll be there. See you soon.

[With that, he would hang up and flash to the location Li had specified. There were some parts of his new powers that could be very convenient. Either way, he'd be there waiting when Li arrived.]

[She's actually surprised when he's there before her and approaches cautiously. Lately, Li's been in a quieter mood than before. The fight with the fox had some unfortunate lasting effects on her. It did in her pride and her anger's diminished.

Whether that's a good or a bad thing... well...]

Hey. You got here quick.

New powers.

[His only explanation before he holds out a few sketches. All of them are of her, both in human and Kelpie form.]

Here, these are the sketches.

[She rolled her eyes a bit at the 'new powers' bit before taking the offered sketches and looking at them...and freezing a little once she realized what they were. Li stared at them, her fingers gently touching the drawing that held her Kelpie form.

It wouldn't be hard to read the longing and sorrow on her features as she stared at the form she hasn't seen in so long.]

Thanks.

You're welcome.

[He'd give Li a few moments with the sketches before daring to speak again.]

I spoke with Gellert. He said he was trying to help you break your curse.

[She broke out of her thoughts for a moment to glance up at him when he mentioned Gellert. Li tensed a little and nodded.]

Yeah, he is. He broke the first part and I'm hoping he'll get the rest.

Do you mind telling me about it? I want to see if I can help somehow. Though I can only do that if you let me.

[She hesitated for a moment and took a step back. If.. she had been herself he'd be face with a very uneasy horse. ]

He made it so I could be in the water again. That's as far as he's gotten.

[And was part of the reason of why her personality was shifting a little to something calmer. Li..Shook her head slightly and gave a soft snort.]

I don't see how the hell anyone else can help. Gellert's supposed to be smart and he said he can handle it. This fucking thing just... is very fucking persistent. The fucking bitch just couldn't make anything easy, could she.

[He seemed glad that part of her curse had been broken at least, but the rest of it still remained.]

Gellert is from one world of many, Li. Sometimes it helps to have an outside view of things. A fresh perspective. When you get too close to something you can sometimes miss the smaller details.

Like I'm not fucking aware of that! I've been trying to find a way to break this thing for the last three hundred years! Do you know how hard it is when you can't even describe what's wrong with you!?

[She growled and held the precious drawings close to her chest.]

I didn't even know the thing had stages until Gellert broke the first one.

[She glared at him a little more before the flame of her anger just seemed to flicker and die, leaving her just looked tired and forlorn.]

...And it's getting worse. I need him to break it soon..don't think I have more than a year left if this keeps up.

[She sighed. No, she hadn't even admitted that to Gellert. She didn't want him to worry more than he already was. What could she say? She cared for the wizard in her own strange way.]

I understand Li. I assure you I do. You're losing yourself in a way that you can't understand and feel you have no control over it.

[Somebody had experience.]

[She just reluctantly nods.]

I've been fighting for so long.. and loosing to the fox just.. shattered something. I can't keep fighting anymore, Styxx. I've been trying. I'm..

[Her voice seemed to cease up when she wanted to try and tell him just what it was doing to her. How it was trying to kill her and make her loose herself and just couldn't.]

It's trying to kill you and make you lose yourself and you can't let that happen, right?

[Wow, that was almost like he'd plucked that right out of her mind. That was because he had. He tried to stay out of people's minds, but he couldn't help but pick up on the surface thought.]

[She tensed slightly and just nodded. Was what she was thinking that obvious to figure out? Li glanced away after a moment and just started walking towards her cave, trusting him to follow.

There were magical barriers over her home to protect her and to keep it warm and dry thanks to Gellert. She just quietly set down the drawing with the rest and sighed.]

There's more than one way to kill a creature, you know. The rest of my herd.. suicide. The curse made them and I refuse to let it do that to me. It's... just harder now.

[Seeing as Styxx didn't mean her any harm, it was unlikely the barrier would affect him beyond him taking notice of it being there as he followed her in.]

Why is it harder now?

[She tensed and growled faintly, despite it sounding weary as she just settled on straightening up the stacks of sketches and drawings he made for her over the last few weeks.]

It just is okay.

[With how much her anger was cooling off since the fight with the fox and the addition of water calming her down, it's harder to fight when she can't get as angry as she did before.]

Has your motivation to return to your original form lessened?

[She shook her head.]

No, it hasn't. I want my form back more than anything else. Especially right now.

Then what's different? Something's changed.

[She nodded slightly. Yeah, a lots changed.]

The fox nearly killed me. I just.. the fucking bastard proved his point, okay? I shouldn't be fighting.I'm just.. some stupid female with an attitude like he said.

I couldn't defeat him and I couldn't defend my herd. I'm a fuck up of a lead mare, okay.

Then get better. Get stronger. Learn to fight better. Just because you lost one fight doesn't mean you stop fighting. It doesn't mean you're weak or stupid. It just means you have to try harder.

I'm tired of it, okay!?

[She growled and turned towards him.]

How can I get stronger when I'm fucking starving even after eating someone down to the bone!? There's... I've been fighting this fucking thing for three hundred years. I've out last the last of my herd by a hundred and fifty and I'm just... Fucking tired of it and what the hell it's doing to me.

I want my form back.. Gellert's working on it and I want the rest of me back as well!

[She wanted her name back.. she wanted the curse to stop trying to make her feel guilt for what happened that night and all the lives she's taken just to survive! Li was getting desperate and to her, it felt like Gellert was her last hope. If he couldn't break this.. if he and Albus failed.. Li was dead.

At least, she thought so.]

I know exactly where you're coming from, Li. I've been cursed. I've been alone. I've wanted it all to end. I was trapped on a vanishing isle for 11,000 years alone. I was put in Tartarus not long after that for wanting to die. For wanting it all to end, so if you're tired of it, I won't tell you not to be. I won't dictate what you should or shouldn't do Li. I'm merely saying that I'm willing to help if I can. Whether that means training you to be stronger or helping with your curse or both it matters not.

[Then... he really did know where she was coming from and he'd had it worse than she did. Li just became still and then just kind of lost whatever fire had started and nodded.]

...Fine. Help me somehow.

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